The Epic Battle for Freedom
by XxXxLoveandKissesxXxX
Summary: Adolf Hitler is taken to the 21st century by an evil organisation HYDRA, ploting world domination. The only ones who can stop them are an group of extraordinary people. As HYDRA controls the power of traveling through time and space, the battle for freedom gets tougher for our superheroes.
1. Chapter 1: Pilot

Sitting in Fuhrerbunker, the Fuhrer of Germany Adolf Hitler was scrapping up the last morsels of his fine vegetarian dish into his mouth. He could hear the bombs going off, the Red Army and the Western powers were advancing. A tear fell down his cheek, his officers had disobeyed him, and the war for world domination was futile. Deserting his plate on the table, he walked down to his officers. The Fuhrer had to be strong; however giving orders would be futile, the war was futile. However he would be dammed if he was going to get a trial, if he was going to be executed like a dog. He walked with heavy feet, he needed to be brave. Even if it was going to be extremely pointless, it was however very, very pointless. It's over, everything is over, there will be no a thousand year Reich, no Aryan super race, and everything he had worked for was gone. Suddenly he saw a small pink horse-like creature bouncing towards him, the Fuhrer was confused, what was it? Was this a hallucination? "HI THERE!" the pink pony screamed, "w..who are you" muttered Adolf. "I'm Pinkie Pie" the little mare giggled, "now we must hurry now, there's no time to explain". Extremely confused, Hitler rubbed his eyes, "what?" he exclaimed, "Yes, we must hurry to win the war! Also one other thi...","Impossible we cannot win the war!", "Not this war silly, we must win the war against humanity!". A flash appeared behind her and a large electric blue portal appeared, Pinkie Pie grabbed Hitler's hand, "Oh, also one more thing Addie, Heil Hydra!"


	2. Chapter 2: Russia's HYDRA

As Hitler and Pinkie Pie walked out of the portal, the fuhrer heard grunting noises, and the smell of onions. As they walked down the corridor a coloured man in a heavenly white robe smiled at him. "What the fuck! These things are still here?" yelled Hitler. Pinkie ignored him; they walked further down the corridor. Standing in front of them, was a tall, muscular hot guy in a suit. "Welcome brother Hitler, my name is Vladimir Putin; I'm the leader of HYDRA. Welcome to the Kremlin" said the hot sexy KGB Officer. "I'm also the mothafuckin President of Russia, so I basically rule everything", "but you are Russian, you were fighting us" said Adolf. "Yes, I understand you cheated on the great leader Stalin. And he was heartbroken by that, but he was also a massive faggot so let's not let the old times get ahead of us." The hot guy started to walk towards Hitler, "You shall lead us, O' great one" said the masculine Putin as he lit a cigarette in his mouth. Suddenly the coloured man walked into the room. Hitler terrified at the sight of the man, screamed like One Direction fangirl. But instead of screaming in joy, his was one of terror and horror. "Oh sorry Hitler, we forgot you were a racist prick. This man will help us rule the world.", "WHAT!" cried Adolf; "You heard me" said Putin with the soothing voice of a brave young Hercules. "I forgive you" said the black man, as he walked towards Putin and Hitler, "I shall show you tolerance". Hitler extremely terrified pulling out a gun and shot at him, but the black man casted a spell and atomized the bullet. "Don't be scared my son, I am the second person of the Trinity, I am Jesus Christ."


	3. Chapter 3: Mighty Green One

Hitler was shocked; he was standing in the presence of the almighty. "But you are meant to be white!" Hitler shouted, "I am every race combined my son". "FUCK, THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE UTLMATE SUBHUMAN!" The fuhrer said in shock and anger, "Quite the contrary, my son, my multicultural genes have gained me superpowers observe". Jesus proceeded to pull down his pants, and Hitler was awed by the massive 22 inch cock of Jesus, "wow, you are superior" Hitler said in complete admiration. Suddenly they heard a mighty roar, in the dark corridor was a huge fat green man with two probes like ears. He was staring at the mighty Nazi team. Putin took off his shirt, and walked towards the green creature, giving it little kisses of its belly and letting it rub his muscular sexy back. "This is HYDRA's super weapon", Putin said as he lovingly rubbed his hand up the creatures back as it moaned. "BEHOLD THE MIGHTY SHREK! This ogre is capable of turning everyone in America into its own personal sex slave". Hitler walked toward the creature; holding out his shaking hand to touch it, "it's beautiful" said Hitler as Putin smiled with pride. "OK, THIS HAS TO STOP" said Jesus, as the team turned around "I've been infiltrating HYDRA for years, and now I've come to stop you". Jesus aimed his hand at a few HYDRA members and shot a few of them with lasers. "ITS SMASHING TIME!" yelled Shrek, as he started to grow in mass, Jesus was shooting lasers at him but it was already too late "SHREKTERMINATE!" yelled the ogre at he picked up Jesus and crushed him in his hands. "What time is it!?" Putin asked Hitler, who replied "its nein o'clock". "Jesus Fuck! It's getting late" Screamed Putin, as he turned to Shrek, "Hurry my love, you must invade America before it's too late" and Shrek walked onto 2 giant KGB Rocket Jet boots. "Soon it will be all ogre" Shrek stated grimly as he started to fly down to America.


	4. Chapter 4: The Avengers

Is it good? I haven't gotten many reviews lately, so plz review thanks.

It was early morning in America, and the Americans were screeching like a bunch of parrots on fire. The deadly Shrek had been terrorizing them, and President Obama did not know what to do. Meanwhile, Nick Fury was in Washington DC, in his secret SHEILD headquarters observing the devastation on the television. "Mothafucker!" said Nick Fury quietly but angry. Nick reached his hand out for his I phone 6, and he called Agent Romanoff "MOTHAFUCKER! WE NEED THE MOTHAFUCKIN AVENGERS NOW! THERES SOME GIANT ANGRY GREEN MOTHAFUCKER TEARIN UP SEATTLE!". "Hulk is tearing up Seattle?" said Romanoff, "No, Mothafucker. This guy looks like Shrek or something, Just get me the fucking Avengers!." The very next day, Agent Romanoff rounded up the Earths mightiest heroes, the only people who could stop this threat, they were known as the Avengers or the Mane 7. There was Rainbow Dash, a pony who could fly at supersonic speed, Pinkie Pie, who had the ability to give people hallucinations, AppleJack, who could zap people with lazers, Fluttershy, who could talk to animals, Rarity, who could shapeshift, Twilight who could cast magic, and Dreamy Iliad who was their leader and had a number of super abilities. Dreamy is one of the most powerful ponies on the planet, and was defined by her light purple coat, golden yellow mane, metal rings on her horn (to amplify her magic), and icy blue eyes. They were going to meet Nick Furry tomorrow, so they slept for now. And it was fucking adorable, all those little ponies were cutely snoring, and dreaming about rainbows and shit. Little did anyone know that they were going to fight the ruthless HYDRA and its next fourth Reich of evil and darkness, Adolf smiled at the thought of world domination as he bit into a piece of deliciously nefarious chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5: Trouble in Seattle

Plz review or i'll come to yr house. Just describe it in one word.

It was another day, and Shrek was destroying Seattle. "Stop right there, you ugly piece of shit" said Rainbow Dash. But Shrek gave no fuck, so Dashie had to fly at her supersonic speed towards him like a bullet, she penetrated his heart. But Shrek did not die… well die yet, as Dreamy shot him with her super plasma laser cannon, causing him to explode into a rain of onions, love, and green ogre blood. Shrek still trying to destroy America got up but instead fell on Seattle's Space needle, which pierced him and finally killed him. He roared a mighty roar before dying, but he then started to fall so Twilight used telekinesis to lift his sorry ass, and shoot him into space. As she was doing so a ring fell off his ogre genitals, with the HYDRA logo and the Avengers looked at it suspiciously. During this time Putin was crying in front of the television. His life's work was destroyed; furious he vowed revenge on the Ponies. Later Agent Romanoff was inspecting the huge metal ogre ring, "This is from the KGB" she muttered in shock. She briefed Nick Fury who was extremely pissed off. Nick Fury then sent the Avengers to Russia, where Vladimir Putin was waiting for them.


	6. Chapter 6: Attacking Putin

Plz review

Dreamy had located the super secret Nazi base through computer hacking with telekinesis while she was flying to Russia. And the team of seven burst into HYDRAs secret base, "What the fuck is goin on here" screamed Rainbow dash in extreme anger. "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS YOU CAPITIST!" screamed Putin as he started to shoot at them with an AK47, but Twilight and Dreamy used their Telekinesis to turn the bullets into ice cream. Pinkie Pie attacked them, and the real Pinkie Pie was shocked. "What am I doing here?" she squealed, "I'm a shapeshifter you Twat" said the other pinkie as she shapeshifted into a white pony with a spiky black and green mane and blood red eyes. "Behold I, my true form, the pony of evil and darkness, it is I the one and only Krystal Valentine Poison Eve Metheline". "You fuckers won't get away from this" said Dreamy who was clearly pissed off. "Bite me bitch" said Krystal smiling smug. "SUCK DICK YOU FUCKIN PIECES OF SHIT!" Screamed Putin as he threw a grenade at the Anti Nazi team, but Dreaming held a SHEILD up at it and repelled the explosion which threw Crystal off the ground and into Hitler's arms. A few HYDRA agents shot at them, and Dreaming couldn't repel all of them, killing Fluttershy, Pinkie, AppleJack, and Twilight.


	7. Chapter 7: Kim Jong Un

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Dreaming, as she shot all the HYDRA agents with lasers. Putin, Hitler, and Crystal ran into the portal. Angry and uncontrollably pissed off, Dreaming ran as fast as she could into the portal, but not too fast as she would suffer from oxygen deprivation. She fall onto the floor from the portal and a weird fat asian guy was looking at her. Ew Asian, she thought to herself. "Who are you?" said the fat man, "I'm Dreaming, who the fucks are you?" "I'm KimJong un" said the Asian. And she knew that she was in Pyongyang. "OY FUCKTARD! Over here you ludicrous faggot!" screamed Crystal, angry that she had killed her friends Dreaming got up and ran towards her. But Crystal moved aside and threw her against a wall, "Ha, you're stupider than you look, if you're fuckin fighting someone never be the first to attack. It makes you look like a little weak faggot cunt". Kim Jong un picked up crystal and prepared to slit her throat with a men's razor blade. However Hitler ran towards Kim Jong un and kicked him in his little Asian balls. He flew, with Dreaming running out of his arms. "WTF" screamed Crystal, "What are you doing, you mothafuckering Nazi!" Hitler merely shot her, killing her FOREVER. Dreaming was confused; Adolf Hitler had just saved her life. "Why did you do that?" Dreaming asked Hitler, "I know that I what to wipe all subhumans from the face of this earth, but HYDRA is crazy. They are using ogre semen™ to make people stronger. Even blackies." Dreaming was shocked, using ogre semen as an alternative to super solder serum was sheer insanity. If Hitler wanted to help her, then this must be bad. Crystal groaned on the floor, holding her stomach, she was bleeding intensely. Suddenly a very shirtless Putin wearing mechanical wings flew down and grabbed Crystal before flying out the window. SHIELD agents then stormed into the building, pointing their guns at Hitler and Kim jong UN.


	8. Chapter 8: SHEILD HQ

Back at SHEILD HQ, drameing was briefing the SHEILD stuff on how her friends were killed and how Hitler saved her life. "Well I'll be mothafuckin damned, the mothafucker we're fighting saved our own damn mothafucker", drameing blushed as she was eating nerds candy while reading fifty fucks of grey, and announced "Well we cannot trust him, but he might help us fight HYDRA". "I was made to make propaganda for HYDRA" said Tom Cruise. "You worked for mothafuckin HYDRA you motherfuckr!" said Nik Furrey. "Yeah, Scientology was invented by HYDRA to turn everyone into mindless sheep. Now it's a religion, but like all other religions it will turn Nazi. And you will nazi it coming, when Nazis turn Nazi!" said tom cruise darkly with a depressed face full of sorrow. Meanswhile Hitler was sitting in handcuffs, dreaming approached him with a few other SHEILD agents. "What do you know of this shithole of a organisation?" she asked, "Well one of them saved me from WWII, butt then they showed me the true meaning of evil, an I waz scared". Crystal pointed at a few HYDRA devices, "What do they do?" she roared, "Those? THOSe are HYDRAs secret weapon, which they will use to rule the world" Hitler said. "Yes but what do they do?" crystal persistently asked annoyed, "Well let me show you". Hitler walked up to a large android like thing, "Oh I know what this does" he smiled as he suddenly grabbed a scalpel and threw it at Dreamings throat; he then got a gun and shot the SHEILD agents a gazillion times shouting "SIEG HEIL MOTHAFUCKERS!" He then got up and walked into the android thing, which cut his head off his body and attached it onto the machine while leaving his naked body on the floor. Dreaming moaned as she lied on the floor on her back with a scalpel in her throat. She blanked out; the last image she saw in the room was a hot guy grabbing her into his arms. Cyborg Adolf Hitler, started to fly his Tony Stark built Iron Cyborg Nazi Man towards the American city of Seedy WCvile also known as CWCvile. "Let's see Capitan America fight me now" he muttered".


	9. Chapter 9: The Death of Chris Chan

"Ww.. who are you?" Dreaming rumbled, as the hot guy was carefully stitching up her cut throat. The hot guy stared down at her, "Don't know recoginise me" he said with a kindly smile, "it is I, Will Smith, I have joined SHIELD to fight the good fight against the Nazis". "But you're just a actor", "I maybe a actor, but I'm also a Satanist" said will. "A Satanist? How will a shitty cuntass Satanist help me fight the Nazis", "Because all Satanists are trained in high combat, and expert Nazi killing. They say you won't nazi it coming, but we know when a nazi will turn nazi." Meanwhile Christian Weston Chandler the Prime Minster/Fuhrer of SeedyWCuntvile (known for injected his own semen into his veins to recycle it) saw the Cyborg Nazi, and grabbed his bazooka and fired at it. But Hitler was quick and vicious and inhumanely grabbed Chris Chan and stuffed him into his new metal chest, filled with Zyklon B. "OY! Faggot! Ya over here you facist dry right wing cunt!" shouted Rainbow Dash. Hitler marched towards her and tried to punch her. "Yous not the only one whos fast, wanna see how fast I can go ya occult worshipping weirdo", rainbow shot hershot into hitlers robot arm like a humming bird, ripping out all the motors and circuits and shit from it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Adolf, his robotic pain receptors hurting him, "Oh you hurt honey fucker, here let me help" shouted Rainbow as she pulled out the touch receptors under Hitlers metal armour. Suddenly someone shot her through the stomach; it was a Nazi army ready to help Hitler. "SIEG HEIL" they chanted, all the Nazi groups around the world were there. There was UKIP, the KKK, the Australian Defence League, the Jedi council, Golden Dawn, Mel Gibson's fanclub, stormfront, Aryan League; they were all here, all to help their leader. Hitler pulled out the Sonichu medallion from the dead body in his chest, and used it to heal himself. He proceeded to Heil his followers, before little fag seeking rocket launchers came out of his shoulder armour. They were aimed at every Jew, black, homosexual, Mexican, Jew, Muslim, ginger, disabled, autistic, Jew, gypsy, and Jewish person. All was lost, Adolf Hitler was gonna rule the world.


	10. Chapter 10: A New World Order

KFCs, Synagogues, Gay bars, Mosques, Synagogues, Taco restaurants, and Synagogues were destroyed under Hitler's fire. "Ponies are for little girls!" He screamed. Will Smith and Dreaming were looking down from the SHIELD Headquarters of Washington DC, when suddenly they saw a missile heading towards them. "What are you doing?" asked Dreaming in shock, "I'm saving our lives" he said as he threw Hitler's served dick painted rainbow at the missile. As that was a gay rights symbol, the missile flew at the dick, Will and Dreaming jumped onto the missile, and Will held Hitler's only testicle in front of it to make it fly forward. Meanwhile Hitler was killing people, and the Black Widow and Hawkeye tried to stop him. Hawkeye shot arrows at Cyborg Hitler. But the Nazi's were fast and they cornered the SHEILD team along with Tom Cruise who was helping them. Suddenly everyone saw a missile flying towards them, with Will Smith and Dreaming Pony standing on it. Will threw Hitler's testicle at the Nazi's and the missile killed them in a large fireball. But Will and Dreaming jumped off it, "Right then, let's go kill those fuckers" she said with a grin. But then a large figure with fapping wings was seen, it was a shirtless muscular Putin holding CrystalMeth. Crystal Meth was wearing a corset with leather boots and a blue fishnet and her mane was dyed bright red and it was flowing like a storm cloud. She JUMped to the ground "Hello you Wasted Fucks, welcome to my Hell" she SHOUTED! Dreaming sneered at her and shot a beam of Energy at her, but Crystal merely blocked it with a Shield spell which made it bounce off at Dreaming. Dreaming groaned as Crystal laughed mercilessly "Ready to die you ass licking, self righteous piece of American trash". Putin started to shoot at everyone with an AK47, and he threw a grenade at the anti-nazi team, but David Beckham kicked the Grenade back at him and it exploded, destroying his mechanical wings. Putin was pissed so he started punching everyone. Will Smith prayed to Satan, and Satan shot a laser at Hitler which disabled his legs a bit, but not that much so he could still walk. But he walked sluggishly which gave will smith a chance to open his fanny panny, and disable the electronics. Celestia was shooting lasers made up of Hydrogen ions and Heavenly crucifixs at all the nazi's as she shouted "CHECK YOUR PRIVILGE YOU WATERY CISSCAM CUNTS". Crystal kicked Dreaming's injured body around, smirking "What's wrong little one, too injured to fight me you fag?" Hurt and Injured, Dreaming tried to get up but Crystal held up her body and threw down onto the pavement. Crystal got out her knife from her corset, and walked over to Dreaming. Her body mangled and broken she knew she was going to die, a single tear ran down her cheek. She saw a shiny yellow metal object, she knew what it was, and it was the Chris Chan's Sonichu Medallion. She picked it up, her hoof shaking as she placed it around her neck. Crystal was standing over her, smiling with a knife. This better work she mumbled, She shouted "Allehakabar!". Suddenly a Trident whacked Crystal away like a fly, the medallion had awakened the mighty Poseidon, who stomped on all the Nazis, but then Eris/Discord, goddess of chaos cloned all the Nazis 666 times. And Poseidon proceeded to fight her instead. Jesus came down from Heaven and started to beat up all the Nazi's with his super large slapping cock. Hitler started to fly to Israel and Palestine, but Will Smith disabled Hitler's temperature monitoring system, which started to boil the water that fed his body, which will then turn into stream and touch the sodium metal shell of Cyborg Hitler. This will touch the C4 grenades in his chest causing him to explode. Hitler screamed and all the nazi's went to him to help. Will Smith and the others run as fast as they could. And Crystal tried to fly away along with putin holding onto her cute little hooves. The Nazis got a new temperature monitor, but how many Nazis does it take to change a temperature monitor? They were too late and it exploded, killing 6 million Nazis.


	11. Chapter 11: Legends are Born

The Battle against Hitler was successful; however the battle against the Nazis was yet to continue. The republicans were blaming it on Obama like always, and Nick Furry was sitting in his chair, with a face filled with anger. He was surfing 4Chan on his SHEILD tablet™. "WTF did you do, you mothafuckers!" he yelled. Dreaming was sitting in front of him to brief him "we saved the earth from an evil Nazi threat", "well ok, but your recklessness caused more damage than worse", "I know" Crystal said dolefully. Fury smiled, and held his hand to her cheek "Don't worry; I too made mistakes when I was young". "This isn't over; there are still Nazis all over the world, ruining our perfect utopian American society". "I know" Fury said, as Dreaming left his office. Then he started to smile, "I know, Hydra shall not be defeated" he muttered as he began to shapeshift into a Crystalmeth. "Unleash the Ahnenerbe" she began to giggle manically, "Cut off one head two more shall take its place". Later in Bali Dreaming and Will Smith got ready for their wedding. Everything was ready, the disco, and the bar, and the everything. They were going to have a Satanist wedding cus Will Smith was a Satanist. But some Jews were allowed to the wedding also. It was 9:11AM and will smith was ready, he was going to be da bomb on da plane. Everyone was there, Jesus, Fury (but he's not Fury shhhhhh), Rainbow Dash (Dreaming's ex-wife), Tom Cruise, and the black widow. Anton LaVey said "Now do you for sicknee and health take each other to be your loyal Satanist spouse?", "I do" the cute couple said. "Jinx" Dreaming giggled, "I now pronounce you man and mare, and you may now kiss the mare." They kissed, and then they went back to New York to the funerals for the loved ones of them. There were many funerals and it was sad. So in order to cheer up the team went to the super bowl. Then they celebrated Luna New Moon. It was a very long day, fighting Nazis, getting married, mourning their loved ones, and going to a superbowl which was also sad cus those damn patriots won. Will and Dreaming were exhausted and the little mare slept with a Kawaii Katy Perry Shark in her mouth sounded under his arm (the one with the tattoo which said Satan ROX). Will whispered "I love you" in her ear, It was magic.

THE END YOU LUDIOUS PIECES OF HORSESHIT! PLZ COMMENT OR ILL FIND YOU AND COME TO YOUR HOUSE! (I'll bring my ponies too, so they can torture you) Also if this gets many comments, I MIGHT think of a sequel too (But only next winter, cus I have school which iz so super lame). So comment or I'll kill you. I won't actually kill you lol (jks I will)


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